Gobble Gobble Part Two

I just celebrated my second and LAST Thanksgiving in Guatemala! And I have to admit that I am not sad about it, as great as it was because I am looking forward to spending my next Thanksgiving in the United States with my family, stuffing my face with my mommy's delicious, delicious food (mainly side dishes as I am not a huge turkey fan...oh, and PUMPKIN PIE!!! And maybe I will make some baked mac'n'cheese...the options are endless...)

Anyway, this Thanksgiving was pretty awesome here in Guatemala. I spent it at my favorite place in Guatemala, Lake Atitlan (though I still have much more of this country to see, there is just something so calming about the Lake). My friend from the US was visiting me, and we were surprised to learn that the hotel we were staying at had planned an actual Thanksgiving meal, complete with cranberry sauce straight from the can and pumpkin pie. I was in heaven. It was delicious.

Also, it was nice to have a friend from home visit me because it helped me to not miss my family as much as I did last year. Even though for most holidays I have spent in Guatemala, I have usually been surrounded by my peace corps family, which has really been a blessing, on the main holidays, it does get a bit difficult to be away from my family...So I am grateful my friend came and visited me on this special occassion. But I am also grateful that this time next year, I will hopefully be with my family (¡Primero Dios!)

Peace Corps really has helped me to see what is truly important in my life, and at the end of the day, what is important to me isn't flushing toilets, hot water, cheese, chocolate or anything else I never knew I could live without; it is my family and my friends. Every day I am here, I feel truly blessed and grateful for the love and support I have back home--the people rooting for me to finish this, and finish strong. Because of them, I stay sane and positive. Thank you =)

Homecoming

This past week my training class and I had our (belated) midservice conference. Due to elections and severe weather, the Peace Corps postponed our midservice conference by three weeks, so even though our plans to stay together at the Earth Lodge outside of Antigua were canceled, it was still nice to finally come together with my training class, discuss the challenges and triumphs of the last year, and just catch up with friends from my training class I haven't seen in months.

During midservice conference, as a training class we celebrated the completion of our first year of service, which is a huge milestone in a volunteer's service, especially for me, since my first year was filled with many a challenge, including (but definitely not limted to) my counterpart-diablo ( I swear, I am moving past evil, evil she-devil who shall remain nameless) and my second host family's racist and inappropriate comments about me being Osama Bin Laden's daughter.

According to most volunteers, after mid-service it is all down-hill because you know the lay of the land and are better euipped to handle living in and serving within a different culture from your own. Additionally, you have met those key people that will want to work with you...I am not sure how true this is for me since I have only been in my new site for about six months...I feel like I am only just starting to meet people--both in terms of potential community counterparts and friends and surrogate family. It is a LONG process. I think for me it means that in about six more months I will finally feel like my feet are on the ground and I know what the hell is going on...and then I will have like 5 more months of service until I fly home...GAH. Better late than never?

Anyway, midservice was also great because I went back and stayed with my first host family. And it was just like going home. The kids all remembered me, and when I entered the gate, I heard little voices yelling, "Noorita! Noorita!" Then I was completely surrounded by my host nieces and nephews as they enveloped me in hugs. It was amazing. I wish all of my peace corps' service could feel like this...simple and umcomplicated. Oh, well at least I know I always have a home in San Luis Las Carretas with the Menchus...where it all began for Noorita Menchu =)

Maybe by the time I finish up my peace corps service and leave Chiché, I will have another surrogate family that I will feel as close to as my first family and will have to adopt another last name, and truly be Guatemalan with three last names!

Funk-uh-licious

Last week was a week filled with many celebrations, events, goodbyes, hellos, etc., and thus, many emotions...so really, it was just another week in the peace corps, where I feel like I am bipolar...one minute super happy, the next depressed with work, small town drama, etc.,

I went to the peace corps office for my mid-service medical exam, which is a peace corps' rite of passage...meaning I have completed one year of service and as a reward I got to be examined by doctors and the dentist, o happy day! (0 cavities! woohoo!! Which is amazing considering all the sugar I eat in country...some people work out when they are stressed, others eat candy, and others just eat nutella straight out of the jar...which one do you think I am??).

Anyway, in terms of health, all is más o menos...I am just allergic to Guatemala...just kidding...sort of...but no parasites or life-threatening illnesses! woohoo!! lol.

Being at the peace corps office for my midservice was sort of strange however, because a few of my friends are COS-ing (kind of like graduating from the peace corps...after your 2 years of service, a volunteer COS's). It was cool to get to spend some time with them, but it was hard saying goodbye ( I hate goodbyes...I mean who likes goodbyes? But I am pretty awful with goodbyes...usually I just slip away without saying anything...I am working on that though...!). Also, for me personally, it was hard hearing my friends talk about leaving their sites, all the goodbye parties thrown for them by local guatemalteco friends and family, and everything they have accomplished. To be honest it put me in a little bit of a funk mainly because I feel so far away from that, yet we all know a year flies by...

I am about 6 months into living at my new site, and I still don't feel integrated or fulfilled with work. I keep wondering if anyone will throw me a goodbye party in year from now...will I have friends? A new surrogate family that has adopted me as one of their own? A year from now, what will I have accomplished?

Everyone says that the second year of service is when volunteers really start to make things happen and make those long-lasting connections to their site...I just get worried that everything will pass me by and it will be time to go, and no one will even care that I was even here...

But, it is funny because as I was thinking all these sad, depressing thoughts, this girl I had recently met on a microbus back from the cabacera to my site, called me and asked if I wanted to hang out...I actually ended up going to her house, and it also happened to be her brother's birthday, so not only did I get to hang out with her and her entire family, I also got cake.

So, maybe someone will miss me when I am gone! I guess everything happens in its own time...so I just have to be patient...

In terms of other things that have been going on, last week was dia de los muertos (day of the dead), and instead of spending it in a cemetery with people I literally just met the day before, I went to the kite flying festival in Sumpango ( a little outside of Antigua). It was beautiful! There were a bunch of these huge, beautiful kites; apparently people here fly kites to send messages to the dead. It was definitely an interesting cultural experience, and a cool way to spend my last dia de los muertos in country...It is strange to think that this time next year, I will be back home!! Or at least in the US...crazy.

Anyway, I am out of my funk, and I am trying to stay positive. I have one year of my peace corps' service left, and I would really like to focus on making strong connections to my community, long-lasting friendships, and also I would like to accomplish a few projects that are close to my heart (my next blog post will share details of my upcoming project!)

The more I am here, the more I realize that the peace corps is about so much more than whatever your job assignment is...

Surviving the Storm (both literally and figuratively)

This past week I was visiting home in sunny LA, and I must admit that it was nice to get away from the daily frustrations of Guatemalan life such as chuchos chasing me when I try to jog, bolos passed out in front of my house in a pile of their bodily fluids, creepy men harassing me when I walk around town, projects getting cancelled, my counterpart flaking on me, etc., Not to mention it was nice to enjoy the SUN. Seriously, the Guatemalan rainy season almost made me forget what the sun looked like…when I landed in LA I was like, “what is that big yellow-orange ball burning in the sky!?!?”

Anyway, being home, surrounded by delicious, DELICIOUS food, family and friends who know who I am, have known me forever, and know what I stand for and what I am doing with my life was refreshing. It is sometimes just nice to not have to explain who I am, especially in another language. It is nice to just be able to be who I am without having to justify or explain myself. I took that for granted before the Peace Corps. That, and regular bowel movements…

So, obviously it was hard to leave it all and return to Guatemala once again. The thing that made it less difficult to come back is the fact that I only have ELEVEN months left of my service, yet I still feel as though I have not accomplished many of my big goals. Sure, I have made it this far, which is an accomplishment in itself. Yes, I have made some great friends, both locals and PCVs, and I am feeling more integrated into my community. These are great personal goals that I feel happy to say that I have accomplished more or less. However, in terms of professional goals, I can’t really say I have achieved much. Yeah, sure this takes time and patience, and I haven’t been at my new site for a full 6 months yet so I need to give it time, but still I don’t want to become complacent in just showing up to the office. I want to get things done, despite the daily challenges I face in terms of work (ie: people flaking on me, projects getting pushed back).

The realization that I have only 11 months to get things done has made me feel like this is it. It is GO time. It is now or never. So, while it was hard to leave home and say goodbye to my family and friends yet again (though at this point in my life, everyone is used to me leaving for long periods of time, nomad that I am), I am ready to be a little more assertive to accomplish some of the professional goals on my list…I am not sure they will get done, but at the end of my service I want to at least be able to say that I gave it my all and tried my hardest.

My last day at home I was mentally preparing myself for my return, but what I did not prepare myself for was a HUGEASS storm that I was about to run into head on. It was so big that my plane could not land and had to circle the skies above the capital for about an hour and a half. The winds and rain were crazy, but as I hadn’t heard anything from Peace Corps about traveling, when I finally landed in Guatemala City, I found my familiar chicken bus, the Masheñita, hopped on and began the bus ride of a lifetime back to my site. I would just as soon forget it. So, while Quiché buses are notorious for being ridiculously crazy and I am now used to this, this was the most intense bus ride I have been on in this country. The good news is that because the weather was so awful, I didn’t have to sit sandwiched between two chubby Guatemalan farmers, on top of an indigenous women with her baby on my lap. My butt had its own seat next to an oddly smelling young Guatemalan teenager experimenting in the Hipster meets Goth look. The bad news is that I was literally in the storm and had some close calls. (Guatemalan roads are notorious for their landslides…eeep) Not to mention that the road to Quiché is super windy, with steep mountains overlooking cliffs. Let’s just say I kept my eyes closed for most of the journey and prayed to the Powers that Be…

Somehow, I survived the storm, made it back to my site in one piece, and I am just grateful to be alive. So I better make the most of my time here and get some things done in these next 11 months because life is crazy and this is an adventure and experience of a lifetime that I do not want to waste.

Ready. Set. Go!

A Little Bit Older...a Little Less Wiser...

Hello, Everyone

This past weekend I was fortunate enough to celebrate my second birthday in country...which means, two birthdays celebrated in country, one more to and then home! ( I came into Guatemala a young 25 year old and will leave it as a YOUNG 28 year old...! It is crazy to think about...)

But what it really means...I am now 27! Puchica! (wow!)

Normally, I really am not a fan of birthdays. I don't like being the center of attention. I don't like being in the spotlight. I don't like making a big fuss about these things, and some events (graduations, weddings, etc make me almost nervous or anxious...seriously, I get so nervous that it gives me the runs...sorry if that is too much information but in the Peace Corps there is no such thing) but this year was surprisingly great.

I met up with some fellow PCVs at Lake Atitlan (which so far is one of my favorite places in Guatemala) and just chilled, ate good food, and relaxed with some awesome people. And I have to say that while it is always hard being away from my family and friends back home, my peace corps' family in Guatemala is amazing, and I feel so lucky to have them. I am not sure what I would do without them...

Anyway, I had a great birthday celebration. And 27 doesn't seem that old...

And while 27 has been off to a good start, Guatemala decided to give me a present for my 27th birthday as well...

RINGWORM...(not kidding)

haha. but. It could be worse. Waaay worse.

But, Guatemala, you do keep the surprises coming...

Anyway, I feel very loved by my family (blood family), friends, and my peace corps' family. And I feel blessed to celebrate another year of life.

=)

Frustration, Thy Name is Guatemala...

Direct vs. Indirect Communication...

In training we learned about how Guatemala has a very indirect culture and how people, in order to avoid being rude, stepping on toes, or hurting your feelings, never really give you a straight answer, or they will skirt around the issue at hand.

And while I am sure this is not true for ALL guatemaltecos and I by no means wish to stereotype a whole culture, I can speak to my own experience thus far…

What I find a little odd and quite frustrating is that when it comes to work, it is almost impossible to get a straight answer…yet Guatemaltecos usually don’t have any qualms about saying how fat you look, how big you are, how tall you are, how you speak with a strange accent that they just can’t quite figure out, etc., but when it comes to work, at least in my case, people in the MUNI say how they like an idea and how they want to proceed with a particular project…but then when push comes to shove, nothing gets done.

In my case, it was a bottle school. We started planning in June and there seemed to be both need and interest…yet when I tried to move the project along, it was always somehow thwarted…meetings canceled, people didn’t show up, etc., I was trying to move things along on a strict timeline as I knew that come elections in September, the MUNI would really stop functioning so anything that needed to get done needed to get done before September 11 (local elections are held this date).

I realized we were making very little progress and mentioned my fears to my counterpart, who didn’t seem at all worried. She was just blasé about the whole affair…

I was getting more and more frustrated with the whole ordeal and today, just as I was about to say I think we might want to postpone this project until after elections when everyone is on the same page, my counterpart just came out and said it. I am super frustrated because I could have been working on other things and with other people this whole time, yet I kept trying to make progress because my MUNI claimed it wanted to move this project along. Had they just told me they probably wouldn’t be able to commit to it until January, I could have focused my efforts elsewhere…I just felt like they were stringing me along…This is one dysfunctional relationship…I feel like today the MUNI just told me “It’s not you, it’s me…”

I guess it could be worse, Guatemala could have given me the middle finger...(though sometimes it certainly feels that is has...over and over and OVER and OVER again...sigh)

And while I am sure not all is lost, and I think there really is general interest in this project so that hopefully we can get things moving come January, I just feel like SCREAMING, “BE STRAIGHT WITH ME GUATEMALA AND STOP WASTING MY TIME!”

And while I know the Peace Corps is an emotional roller coaster, one day awful, the next great, frustration just seems to be the only constant…

But I have my health, family and friends that love me and are rooting for me back home as well as recently purchased cheese from Wal-Mart…so really, life could be worse and I know I am lucky to be here. So, I just have to hold on, be strong, and keep trying to get things done.

Sometimes, though, I just want to run away to the coast and become a hippy…

Anniversary Special—Peace Corps Guatemala—Lessons Learned, a Year In Country…

Alright everyone, I have officially been in country ONE YEAR!!! Which means…one year down, one more (más o menos) to go…not that I am counting or anything…!

Anyway, what else does this mean, you ask? Well, it means that after a year in country, I have learned many valuable lessons here, not just about Guatemala—its people, culture, etc.,—but also about life in general…and as I am about a month away from my second birthday (the big 2-7…GASP) that I will be celebrating in this beautiful, although sometimes trying country, I like to think that I am a little bit older and wiser…

So, I would like to share some lessons I have learned with you all, in no particular order.

Here goes:

1. A huge bucket of water will not kill a Tarantula, or any other tarantula-sized spider or bug. You have to squish those MoFos to death.
2. Don’t let any bugs around your house go free…because they will come back to bite you on the butt…literally.
3. When a Guatemalteco says they are only “five minutes away” this actually means they are 15-30 minutes away.
4. When a meeting is set for anytime, add an hour to said time, because that is when the meeting will actually start…unless it is rainy season…then people might just not show up.
5. Always keep a book or some other form of entertainment on you…you never know how long you will be waiting for something to start…
6. When anyone says the phrase “fijese que”…expect bad news…don’t let the smile on their face fool you.
7. When a guatemalteco says “yes”…don’t get excited…this probably means “no”…and said guatemalteco just doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by being too direct or honest…
8. 5-second rule…psssshhaaa….as long as it is not covered in dirt, mud, feces or some other type of human/animal waste, it’s still good…!
9. During rainy season always keep your rain jacket or an umbrella on you…even if it is super sunny out…
10. If a random (and by random, I mean SKETCHY) Guatemalteco starts chatting you up (most usually on a bus), just say you are married and that your spouse is in the States…you just felt the need to serve your country…haha.

Ok, I have probably learned waaaaaaaay more than this, but at the moment, these are the most salient lessons that have come to mind.

Who knows what else I will learn in this upcoming year…? Vamos a ver…

What I do know is that I have survived the first half of peace corps, and met some wonderful people along the way, including Guatemalans and other PCVs, and despite the challenges (and believe me, there have been many and I know there will be even more to come) I still feel incredibly lucky to be here in Guatemala serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer, and I feel lucky to have amazing family and friends supporting me every step of the way, even when I call home crying hysterically because I have dysentery or freaking out because I just killed a scorpion.

I hope that in this next year I can accomplish a few of my goals, both personal and professional…Keeping my fingers crossed…

Friendship is the Best Ship...haha

Does anyone else remember coming back from your first day of kindergarten and announcing excitedly to your parents, "I made a friend today!"

Today about 21 years after the first time, I had the urge to announce this loudly to my parents and let them know that I have officially made a friend...Yes, my first Guatemalan friend...though I am not sure what said friend's name is...(baby steps...)

Ok, maybe I am exaggerating. I am sure I have made some Guatemalan friends here and there. I mean I am still close to my training family, but that is not really friendship, they are like a surrogate family. I am on friendly terms with my host family from my last site, but I don't see them anymore as I have my new site. I get along with everyone at my new workplace, but there isn't anyone in my community that I have clicked with or who I can hang out with on the weekends to just sit back with and chat with.

Just as I was getting kind of sad about my lack of social life or having any circle of local friends here to hang out with (non-peace corps volunteers that is), tonight, my first friend knocked on my door!

I met this guatemalteca (who shall remain nameless because awful human being that I am, I don't remember her name) through my sitemate one day while we were walking to go get ice cream. My sitemate introduced us, and we started talking, and she seemed really nice. I also found out she lives down the street from me, which is awesome since all my immediate neighbors are cantinas (and hence, BOLOS or drunkards). So, after that meeting I invited her to stop by my house for a cafecito, whatever baked goods I might have, and some conversation ( I NEED FRIENDS!)...then I ran into her again this week while I was walking to work, and she accompanied me all the way back to the office. And today, she stopped by my house and we chatted for a while, and it was so nice! I made her some tea and cookies, and we just chatted.

I finally feel like I have at least ONE connection in my community, which is a great feeling...for those of you back home who can't quite understand my enthusiasm for local friendship, all I can say is that for me, this is a huge milestone and one more way to truly integrate into my community. While my fellow PCVs in country are awesome and I have made some great friendships, I also want to feel like I have friends and connections in my community to feel truly grounded here.

I am finally starting to get that feeling of belonging...And my new friend ( I promise I will find out her name...you know we are just passed that point where I can ask her...) invited me to her house on friday to watch a telenovela with her! She felt sorry that I didn't have a TV and that I was missing out on some "quality" tv...so yeah, I'm not ashamed to say it...I have an official play-date on Friday, and to buy more love, I am going to bake something delicious to share with her and her family...

Yay!

Lazy Sunday

Happy Sunday, Everyone!

Back in training I remember a volunteer describing living and working in her site. She also mentioned the slowness of weekends, but how amazing they are because, unlike back in the US, you never really have anything stressful going on. While you have errands you might need to run, there is nothing really urgent that needs to get done, no stressful trips to malls, grocery stores, Costco, etc., Your weekends are just for you, and you can be as LAZY as you want.

I mean sure, I try to do all my laundry and cooking on the weekends so I don't have to worry about that stuff during the week, but sometimes the rain (or really most times now since it is rainy season) prevents me from any true "productivity". My weekends are just for me. Sometimes I travel or there are peace corps events like welcome parties, etc., but most times I lounge around my house, sipping on the instant coffee I once despised but now have come to love, reading, catching up on emails, etc., just relaxing. It is so weird not really having anything to do. There is no hustle and bustle, no sense of urgency, just me and my mind (which is sometimes a dangerous combination).

At first I wasn't a huge fan of these lazy weekends, however, now I have come to truly appreciate them so much that often times, I find myself dreading leaving for the weekend and having to deal with the real world, catching chicken buses and getting caught in a rainstorm. I find myself indulging in the slow pace of Guatemalan life (well during the weekends anyway, not so much during office hours!)...

It is a beautiful, simple sort of existence I have here...one I am truly trying to appreciate without questioning, because I know it won't always be this way...

Ebb and Flow

Lately, the Peace Corps has started to feel like a massive ocean, in constant flux. Some days are great, others...quite the opposite...Some days I have tons to do, other days no one even seems to acknowledge my existence in the office and at work, and I find myself wondering, "why am I here" and "what am I really doing here?" Literally, yesterday I went into the office and no one even said anything...I had plans with my counterpart, but of course we didn't do anything we had planned to do (this is a recurring theme in my peace corps service)

And because of the rainy season, chuchos and also, not to play the gender card, but as a woman, it is hard to just go out and jog to clear my mind. It is either raining, or there is a gang of wild chuchos (dogs) ready to attack me ( I almost got attacked once, and haven't mustered up the courage to go back out for a jog), or I have to deal with the vulgar comments of gross males as I jog by. Now most of the time I can deal with it, but you know every so often I just get tired of the leers, gestures, and sometimes, obscene comments. Really, there is only so much I can handle...and some days it all just bubbles up, and I don't feel like dealing with anything...

Don't get me wrong. I am still thoroughly enjoying my time in Guatemala, but it is difficult not to let these constant fluctuations get to my head...it just feels as though I can never get truly settled and comfortable...At work it seems as though any time I make even the slightest bit of progress, the next day it is all forgotten and I have to start from scratch. And it just gets disheartening after a while. I don't want to give up, but I feel like I sound like a broken record...especially when I try to bring up these issues at work...I feel like Guatemala is all about lip service. So we plan, and we make what seem like GREAT plans, or I tell them what is bothering me, and they acknowledge it and say tomorrow we can get to work....but tomorrow never comes...and then i have to re-initiate the dialogue...

And I know it is not impossible, because many of my peers seem to be accomplishing a lot...and I try to ask them how they navigate their lives, work and social, because I start wondering, "Is it me?" "What am I doing wrong?" "What can I improve?" but I am doing everything others are doing...AGH!!

But recently, I have just become so frustrated and exhausted by the dynamics at work, that I can't even muster up the strength to try right now...so, I am taking a personal day, in the hopes that tomorrow will be better...

or...Maybe I am just a smelly gringa that nobody wants to work with...! (But I have water now so I swear I shower!!!)

Fijese que…aka the kiss of death (sort of)

Nothing good ever follows the Spanish expression of “fijese que…”

It goes something like this: Fijese que the owner of the tienda had a heart attack…Fijese que you can’t live here anymore and have only 1 day to move out…etc., etc., etc.,

However, more often than not, the “Fijese que” expression is used to denote some sort of flakiness or commitment issue… Fijese que…I can’t come to your meeting, the meeting has been cancelled, it’s not you, it’s me…. I never want to see you again…you suck…etc., etc., etc.,

Anyway, suffice it to say that no good news ever comes from “Fijese que…”

Take for example, today. I had been in the office no more than 10 minutes, when I was bombarded by a whole slew of “fijese ques”…

“Fijese que el alcalde, los concejales, e los estudiantes no pueden venir a la presentación hoy…fijese que tal vez sea mejor dejar la reunión por la próxima semana…y tambien... fijese que yo tengo malas noticias…no puedo viajar contigo a Cuerpo de Paz…”

Translation, “Silly gringa, did you really think things would work out on the first try??” OK, perhaps this is not the exact translation, but basically, my meeting to get this bottle project up and running has been delayed twice now, and I was supposed to bring my counterpart with me to a workshop at Peace Corps (today) and she tells me (TODAY) that she can no longer come…

And people think I have commitment issues…(by the way, I am totally going to use the “fijese que” line one day…and I will blame it on Guatemala and the Peace Corps. It will be great…)

On the bright side, at least this counterpart actually TALKS to me and tells me when things get cancelled/when she can’t come with me rather than just not showing up and having me wait in the rain for her for like 3 hours…then not answering her phone for a week making me think she was attacked by bolos or chuchos and dead in a ditch somewhere … (I am not bitter still...)

Now that is what I call progress…!

If there is one thing I have learned to love and appreciate in the Peace Corps, it’s the small things in life…the really, realllllllly, reeeeaaaaallllllyyyyy small, microscopic things that you can barely see and that I took for granted these past 26 years of my life…

Fijese que…I have to end this blog now…

The Rainy Season Blues...

Rainy season is officially here…(or at least I say it is…so that is kind of official I suppose)…and what does this mean? Well, for one it means that creepy, huge insects of like every species possible have crawled out of the woodwork and into my house. And no matter how many I kill, a billion more replace them. I freely admit that I am forced to murder many a Guatemalan bug. Pacificist that I am, usually in the US I like to let bugs go free in the wild, you know, return them to their natural habitat…(not just because before I got here I was afraid and both grossed out by killing bugs).

Here however, letting one bug go free could result in my death…Ok, ok, fine, maybe I am being a TAD dramatic here…but if I don’t kill the bugs, they will kill me…no wait, that might also be a gross exaggeration…let’s just say that if I don’t kill the bugs, I might live only to regret it…That being said, this week I have killed about a bajillion spiders, and one very HUGE spider, bigger than a tarantula (I wish I were exaggerating here…) I actually tried to drown it, but the thing SWAM!!! So, in the end, it had to be squished…

Other than the mass murder of bugs, rainy season also means that it takes forever to do my laundry, which for me, already was a long process to begin with. Now I am no expert at hand-washing clothes, but I like to soak them for a few days, then scrub them, and then hang them up to dry. Usually drying only takes a day, however, with all the rain now it takes forever…and sometimes, they still don’t dry! Egh…

But really, I have to admit that (so far anyway) rainy season is not as bad as I thought it would be, but I do realize that it is only the beginning. All I can say is that I am glad I brought my rain boots and umbrella back from the States with me…

I Guess it's About Time for a New Post

Hello, out there in cyberspace...

I realize it has been quite some time since my last post, so I will do a little recap...I am getting older so I might forget a few details (which is why I will be better about updating...)

Anyway, so at the beginning of April, I got my new site in Chiché still in the department of Quiché. Yes, I now live and work in Chiché, Quiché, and I am well aware that the two rhyme (I neither confirm nor deny that I chose my new site based on this fact...but the flow is lovely). Anyhow, I now have my own house (which I posted some pics of in my previous post) and a new job and counterpart.

I work in the Municipal Office for Women (La Oficina Muncipal de la Mujer--OMM). This office is dedicated to upholding women's rights and helping to promote the participation of women in local government affairs. Also, the OMM does educate the community about Domestic Violence and helps women file claims against their partners/seek services such as legal and emotional counsel. It all sounds great on paper, but whether or not the OMM does its job is a whole other matter...which is sort of why I am there. One of my roles is to help promote accountability and transparency in the office. Another role is to help create, organize and promote community groups, especially women's groups so that these groups can identify and prioritize their needs in order to start problem-solving and constructing projects that might help ease their troubles....or something like that. I am sort of the bridge between local community members and government officials.

Anyway, I was in my new office for no more than 2 weeks when I got the flu. Then it was Semana Santa (Holy Week/the week before Easter), so my community and the whole country, basically shut down. There was a lot of celebrating and such (I was sick so I sort of missed out on it this year, but next year it will be cool to witness). After Easter I went back to the States for a friend's wedding and stayed for a few weeks to enjoy some time at home with family. So, I even though I technically started at my new site before I left...I really didn't.

Home was great, even though time flew by. My friend's wedding was beautiful and it was so nice to see many of my friends who no longer live back home. I was also surprised that I didn't face too much culture shock. Volunteers are always saying how hard it is to go back home and face such a different, more fast-paced lifestyle and overwhelming grocery stores filled with too many options and fixed-prices (What do you mean a pound of tomatoes is $3.99/lb...how about I just give you $1.50?!?! Back in my village I only pay...etc., etc., etc.,) And maybe it will be more of a shock once I actually move back to the US and am not just there for a quick visit...but for me the hardest part was remembering that I am ACTUALLY allowed to flush toilet paper in the toilet! Our plumbing can handle it! So amazing. Forgot how great that is. When I first got back home, I felt like I was committing a crime flushing my toilet paper away...I had to stop and think every-time...Oh, yes, it is indeed the small things in life...

Now I am back and ready to start learning the ropes of my new job and community. Getting back to site with my stuff (yes, i came back with a suitcase filled to the brim with food...only the staples, chewy chocolate chip cookies, laughing cow cheese, , quinoa, spices, dahl (which almost got confiscated), granola (hand-made by my bro and sister-in-law---thanks guys! but which also almost got confiscated) (totally worth being searched though)....anyway, where was I, oh yes, getting back to site with all my stuff was a lot easier than I thought it would be and not as scary, though I definitely insulted a few taxi-drivers who were totally trying to rip me off ( I am not your average gringa and I will haggle to the end to save a few Q and call you out on it if you are trying to "aprovechar me" (take advantage of me)...but I did eventually make it back to my house.

I still feel confused and am still trying to learn exactly what I should be doing (in terms of work), but I will figure it out. I also had a successful meeting with the director of the local community leader, and I think she might prove a useful community counterpart. She is very welcoming and asked me to give workshops to the youth groups that come into the library. Also, she had mentioned to me that the library needs a second floor because there isn't enough space, to which I replied we could try building the second floor out of plastic bottles filled with inorganic trash (which has been a very successful project in many Peace Corps countries world-wide, but especially Guatemala) and she seems very enthusiastic about it. Now I just have to get organized and get to work. I have a year and five months left of my service (hard to believe it, considering I started with 27 months). Time is flying, and I feel like since I had problems at my original site and wasn't really able to start anything there, I need to get a move on...

So, here I go!

New Beginnings

On Saturday I officially moved to my new site, Chiché, which is actually only about 30 minutes away from my old site. After about a month and a half of waiting I finally have a new site!! I bought a bed, a stove, and toaster-oven (the essentials…at least for me…must bake chocolate chip cookies…STAT!) and I headed to my new town, and even better, my new HOUSE!!! My new house is HUGE—it has 4 rooms, a sizable courtyard, hot water in my shower and a flushing toalet ( I mean what else could I ask for??!!)

So far I really like my house (though i have had a few mishaps with my door, but my dueño, or landlord is pretty speedy about making repairs…he is probably sick of me from calling him like everyday for some silly repair…but he always does it!) And yes, I have a TON of space, so visitors, both other PCVs and friends from home are all welcome! However, I must warn you I currently have no furnishings…and I don’t plan on making any big purchases except for maybe a few tables and stools…in pure peace corps style, I am going to fashion some makeshift shelves with planks of wood and cement blocks...

Being on my own is great, however, it is weird to finally be on my own—I guess I forgot what it is like to have some privacy! I am a little nervous that I won’t meet people since I am not living with a family, but to be honest, my old host family in Santa Cruz didn’t really help me meet people…so I am sure I will be fine and slowly I will meet people through work and just exploring the town little by little. Anyway, hello freedom and privacy and being a real adult again!!! Woohoo!!!

On Monday I started work at the Municipal Women’s office. My new counterpart seems really enthusiastic, friendly and warm—basically, she is the exact opposite of my old counterpart. She actually wanted to introduce me to all the other offices in the MUNI as well as the police because she said it was important that people know me in the MUNI and community since I will be there for almost 2 years…Not to get too much into my former life in Santa Cruz, but my old counterpart was basically like, “if we don’t work with those people, you don’t need to know them.” (Not really great at networking…!)

As helpful and friendly as my new counterpart is, I still have no idea what I am doing, but I guess this will take time—just like it will take time to meet people and to integrate into my new community. But as they say (way too often) here in Guatemala, POCO A POCO…

Decisions, Decisions...

Yesterday, my APCD took me to go see 2 possible new sites. The first one is called Chiché, and is about 30 minutes away from my current site (still in the department of Quiché), which is very convenient. Chiché is very small (the exact opposite of Santa Cruz) and there seems to be a lot of potential for projects, etc., And the woman I would be working with seems really nice, though a tad young and inexperienced. Though what she lacks in age and experience, she makes up for in enthusiasm and positive energy. She also has good contact with her Mayor (which is important when you are trying to work on anything in your community)...

The other option would be in a department called Totonicapan, in a bigger town called Momostenango...The MUNI where I would be working seemed big, but pretty well-run and well-established...so I am not sure how I would fit into their office...but since it is so well-run there might be less headaches when trying to start projects. But since it is so big, it might be frustrating to get my bearings straight and make the right connections and contacts to start working...

Basically, I have no idea which option to choose...

My director is awesome and is giving me the option but I have no idea what to do...

Eeep!

La Piedra Magica (The magical stone)

Hello out there in cyberspace! I realize it has been like a month since my last post, but I have kind of been in Peace Corps Limbo. After reconnect I realized that I could not continue at my site because there was just no working with my counterpart. Luckily, I have a great APCD and project specialist who were willing to give me a site change. However, site changes don't happen over night. So, I have spent the last month visiting other volunteers, helping with their projects, and traveling to antigua and the peace corps office for various events (since I have the time to do so).

While it has been nice to visit other volunteers and see their amazing projects come to life, it has been a little frustrating and depressing as I feel like my peace corps experience really has yet to begin and while I am proud of my fellow volunteers for all that they are accomplishing, I have to admit I am jealous, because I can't really say I have accomplished that much (as of yet, but I know that will change). Also, while I try to keep myself busy, I can't help but feel like i am stuck in this liminal state...just waiting...and there is no other way to describe this feeling than "blah"...

However, this last week I spent taking a refresher of spanish classes and visiting my training host family, which always makes me feel better. Funnily enough, my host family and I both agreed that after a week of spanish refresher classes, my spanish is actually worse off...I hope it is just because my mind is tired and everything is jumbled...Anyway, it was nice to be somewhere resembling "home"...It was nice to be with my guatemalan family. Whenever I go back there, it feels like I never left. They told me that I should ask my director to just be placed with them...!

Additionally, my two host nephews told me they had a present for me. They presented me with a tiny package of newspaper. Within the newspaper was a "piedra magica"...a magical stone they had found in a nearby river. They proudly presented me the brilliant shining stone and told me, "It is magical. The shininess will make it so that you are always happy. And also this will help you to never forget us"...

As weird as this past month has been without having a site or work, when my host nephews presented me with my magical stone, I almost cried out of happiness. I felt so loved and appreciated! As bad as things have been with my counterpart and with work, I have made some great connections in this country. I have a second family here in Guatemala. And even though at times I feel like my peace corps experience hasn't started, it began the day I arrived in this country. Everyone's experience is different, but that doesn't mean it is any less "peace corps"...

Sometimes You Just Have to Cut Your Losses (Don’t Worry I am not Leaving PC…!)

Ever since counterpart day (when your counterpart comes to the Peace Corps office to meet you and you both talk about expectations, roles, etc., ) and site visit (a three-day trip where you visit your site, find your housing and get to know your host agency where you will work the next two years), things felt a bit off. I remember meeting my counterpart and being worried because she was somewhat cold and distant (and for those of you who know me well, I am pretty much the exact opposite. I always greet people with at least a hello and most probably a hug…she doesn’t even greet people…which is also rare for Guatemalans who are so warm and open).

I also felt a tad apprehensive because all throughout counterpart day, my counterpart was too busy on her cell phone to come in and to listen to the talks about the roles and duties of peace corps volunteers. She was too busy to come in when it was time to plan site visit (we were supposed to meet with our counterpart to come up with a 3 day plan of what we would do together those first 3 days). She was also too busy to come in and help plan my first month at work…She was also too busy to say goodbye to me at the end of the day…

I ignored all these red flags, because, really, what could I do? Sites had already been assigned and whether or not I liked my counterpart, I was going to have to work with her for the next 2 years. I was going to Quiche no matter what, so I decided I had to be flexible and go with the flow and that eventually (like when I moved to site) my counterpart and I would have those important conversations and we would, at the very least, be able to build a working and professional relationship.

Fast forward almost 4 months later, and nothing has changed, despite my APCD and PS having a talk with her…I could share with you all the horrible things my counterpart has done, but that list would be too long. But the main thing is that she keeps me from working with the women in our group. Whenever she sees me building relations with the women in our groups (who are pretty awesome actually) she sends my outside with a crying baby because “the women are being distracted”…So really I never get to help facilitate sessions (which is what I am supposed to do) instead I am treated like a babysitter. And I have both taught pre-school and baby-sat, and I did not join the peace corps to do either one of these things. (and at least in the US I was getting paid for both!) It would be one thing if I was teaching the children or doing activities with them, but they are BABIES and this might sound awful, but they are not my responsibility. I don’t have children for a reason. Moreover, my job description is mobilizing the women so that they can be active members of society. I am not here for my counterpart to send me outside the room with a crying child…

Anyway, it was at this moment, with a crying baby drooling on my shoulder that I realized my counterpart is never going to change. I have tried to open dialogue with her, I have tried to help work with her as a partner, but it is clear that she doesn’t want me around. She has also done other things that have threatened my safety. I won’t go into details, but these last few things pushed me to go talk to my APCD (program director) and ask for a change. It is clear to me that I cannot go on working with my counterpart, because it will never be productive. I don’t want to waste my Peace Corps service. Time is precious and there are people in Guatemala who I am certain would want to work with me.

My APCD and Project Specialist are awesome and have agreed to look for new sites for me…so hopefully in about a month I will be at my new site with a new counterpart; one who won’t jeopardize my safety and will be willing to work with me, or won’t treat my presence in the office like the black plague…that would be nice at the very least (I am not asking for much here…!)

I guess I just got to this point where I had tried everything I could think of, tried everything my APCD had thought of, yet my situation was not improving. Because of this, my mental state was deteriorating and I realized (with the help of some awesome peace corps friends) that I needed to start placing my own needs first and ask for help. Again. I just think that my counterpart never wanted a volunteer in the first place. I really believe that is the heart of the problem. And in development work I firmly believe that you can’t work with people who don’t want you there or don’t want your help. So, really it is time to cut my losses and move on and hope for the best…

Let’s see what happens…because I love Guatemala and the Peace Corps and I am not quite ready to walk away from it just yet!

Reconnect

So, I have officially been at site for 3 months and in country for 6 months…which is awesome (not to toot my own horn!!). But let me explain why this is awesome. Many volunteers have told us newbies that the first 3 months at site are the hardest (and perhaps the first year as well), but if you stick it out the first 3 months at site then you are good to go (well sort of, but most people know whether or not the peace corps is for them by the end of the first 3 months…or so many have told me…). At least I don’t think I am going anywhere!

I had already invested in the Peace Corps before I even got to Guatemala (year long application process, being moved from the Middle East to Francophone Africa to Latin America, having some communication problems with my PO—to put it mildly—not to mention that doing the Peace Corps had been my dream since I was 16 years old…now it is 10 years later…if that isn’t dedication, then I don’t know what is…and I thought I had commitment problems…hmmm…)

Anyway, it was my fear that after investing all this time and effort (oh did I mention I have been volunteering and interning abroad for the last 6 years with local and international NGOs and in Grad school I studying international development just to make sure 1) I had enough useful skills for the Peace Corps and 2) I could, indeed, live in developing nations) that the Peace Corps just wouldn’t be for me…

But even though I have had my share of challenges, and I foresee at least a billion more before my 27 months are up, I have to say everything about the Peace Corps feels like a perfect fit for me, and I have no intentions of going home anytime soon! And making it to reconnect just reaffirms this. Now, if only if I could find a significant other who fits me just as well…haha…wouldn’t that make my mom happy?!?!(I love you, mommy!)

Moreover, in this past week I have decided to make a new resolution. I have decided to stop counting down to the end of my service (even though I swear I really enjoy it here, sometimes I can’t help counting down to my COS—close of service—date). I decided to try hard to stop this because I feel like I need to concentrate on making the most of this unique experience. I don’t want to waste it by counting down to the end. I want to take the time to relish the moment; no mater how sucky that moment might be…because it is a moment that I will never get back. Who knows if I will ever have another opportunity like the Peace Corps to live and breathe Guatemala for the next 2 years…

Oh, for those of you wondering what reconnect is…well...Basically, after the first 3 months at site the Peace Corps brings back all volunteers to the PCHQ to talk about how it’s going and give us more information, etc., (I think…to be honest I don’t really know what we do…but I am excited to see all the other volunteers in my training class and just hang out…)

Anyway, I am headed back to Antigua to see the other volunteers, climb Pacaya (volcano!!!), and get my reconnect on!

Woohoo!

Lose Yourself in the Process and You May Surprise Yourself...

So, for those of you following my peace corps adventure you will remember that I have been having some problems with my counterpart...our relationship is a bit tumultuous to say the least, but things have been looking up...though it is hard to tell because I think my counterpart is bipolar or schizophrenic, so every day with her is unpredictable. However, as my awesome project specialist reminded me, "working with crazy people who are hard to work with" can only help you when you are applying for jobs after this...(Thank you Doris!)

Anyway, last week was a pretty awesome week because I got to travel to the department of Solola (where lake Atitlan is) to meet with a youth group my NGO is considering working with in the future. It was a great first session that I was in charge of planning (yay! I finally got to do something!) After that I went to the peace corps office because I get to help facilitate diversity training for the new groups of trainees that come in. Because of this I got to spend time in Antigua.

I can't describe how wonderful it was to be 1) out actually working and facilitating sessions (the reason I am HERE in the Peace Corps) and 2) just away from the office and my counterpart.

Feeling this good then had me feeling awful because I started analyzing and over-analyzing everything, like my reasons for staying and whether or not I really can handle having to work with my counterpart the next 21 months...I was also feeling like I shouldn't be this happy to get away from my site. The whole point of having your site is to become part of your community, which, ideally, should make your work there a little easier. And the truth is, even though my site isn't the "typical" peace corps site that most people would imagine for a peace corps volunteer (I live in a pretty big city of 65,000+ people), I really do like it. I feel comfortable here. Things with my host family have improved and I even feel comfortable in my house. It is only work that isn't quite right. But why I am here if work isn't, well...working...

Anyway, so I was thinking all these things and it was making me kind of depressed and I just couldn't go into the office when I returned from my trip. I just didn't want to have to deal with my counterpart or sitting around in the office without anything to do. Because of this, I decided to take a mental health day.

I still feel a little uneasy about going into the office on Monday, but it has to be done...I just have to take it day by day I guess. But it is hard.

In these past few months, If I have learned anything, it is that the Peace Corps is a mental challenge and is more about patience and learning the lay of the land. But not just patience with the host country, the natives, and the new culture, but also patience with yourself.

It is difficult coming from the US where we are so results-oriented. We want to get in there, do our work, and see the results--we want to know we are making an impact. Many of us (or at least this is true for me) don't want to worry about the process. We just want to get in there and get our hands dirty. I guess that is my big problem. I feel like I have been in country for 6 months and in site for 3 so I should being doing MORE, or at least something...shouldn't I be getting my hands dirty? But maybe I should concern myself more with the process...and maybe I will lose myself in the process and find that at the end of this crazy ride called peace corps that I will have achieved more than I could have hoped for...

And when I think about it, everyday I am doing something...maybe it is not what I was hoping to be doing, but everyday I am learning more about Guatemala, meeting new people and building my niche...a niche where I can hopefully work out of and make some sort of difference.

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction…

A few weeks ago, I reached my maximum frustration point with my counterpart and with my “work” at CODEFEM. My counterpart’s frosty demeanor and lack of communication would have been somewhat tolerable had I been busy with work; however, as my counterpart wasn’t communicating with me at all and as we are the only two people in the office, this made working with her or in general pretty much impossible. Finally, after my counterpart “forgot” to tell me that the office was opening a week later then scheduled and I sat for hours outside the office waiting for her (which had happened before and she would show up a couple hours later and explain that she didn’t have saldo or credit to call me…which made no sense since I called her phones a billion times and it does not take any saldo to answer the phone…but oh well…) I couldn’t take it anymore.

Anyway, long story short I had a meeting with my host country agency (CODEFEM) and my program director from Peace Corps, and ever since then things have been better…in fact, my counterpart has been creepily nice…it is really freaking me out…I am scared that any day now she will just snap and go back to not talking to me. But I am trying to take advantage of her change of heart and do as much as I can to help out so I can prove that I am indeed an asset to the organization…Anyway, things are looking up for me at the moment.

I still sometimes have those “what the hell am I doing here” or “can I really last in this country for 2 years?” moments, but after talking to many other volunteers, I have been assured that this is normal (I am not crazy! well…you know what I mean).
It is always going to be a constant challenge. There will be moments of sheer joy and even more moments of utter despair (maybe that is a bit of an overstatement…but you get the idea). There will be ups and downs…There already have been many. I knew all this before I signed up…and yet, each time it is a surprise…but it is those (rare) happy surprises, like having a woman give me an avocado at a taller (workshop) to thank me for my help that make it all worth it…
I think…

I mean…it was a damn good avocado…! I hope someone gives me mangoes at my next taller…maybe then it will all be worth it…=)

Motion Sickness

This past week has been the biggest rollercoaster ride thus far for me in the Peace Corps; which currently has me feeling slightly bipolar and a little dizzy from all the uncontrollable movement. The ups and downs of the Peace Corps never cease to surprise and frustrate me. You think by now I would be used to this, but I am not, nor will I ever be. In fact, I think I might have whiplash from all this uncontainable motion.

There are moments of utter bliss and tranquility-Kismet-when everything just clicks and I know that I am supposed to be here in PC Guatemala. For example, like today when I met an awesome girl named Elena, who I think is my first official guatemalan friend that I met myself (Yes, I am a HUGE loser here and have NO friends that I made myself...so meeting her was a huge deal...she bought me an ice cream cone...now if that isn't friendship, then I don't know what is). However, there are moments when I freak out and think to myself, "Why the HELL am I here? What the HELL was I thinking...What the HELL am I even doing with my time????" (Actually, let's be honest, I actually think the "F" word, but "hell" is somewhat less offensive...and my parents might be reading this...)

For example, after my craptastic experience with my counterpart, aka demon-wench from the underworld, I really was questioning why I am here if my work-partner does not even want to work with me, or even talk to me. However, then I decided to actively seek other opportunities away from this uncooperative, uncommunicative vortex of negativity, aka my counterpart, in case things continue to get worse with her. I found SO many people that I could work with and so many opportunities. There are people who like me! I knew it! More than this, there are people in Guatemala who are excited to work with people with other perspectives and experiences, people who value me as not only a work-colleague, but simply as a human being. They DO EXIST!

Moreover, there are people who care about me and want me to succeed; ie: my family, my friends back home, my friends in the Peace Corps, my training family, even my current host family (now that we have gotten through that awkward stage of them calling me a daughter of a terrorist thing...) my APCD, my PS, etc., They have all been amazing, in their own, unique way. Without this support, I really think I would have thought more about early terminating... (haha)...but I am going to keep on keepin' on...and enjoy the ride...even if it makes me cry sometimes...even if it makes me think about finding a voodoo doll and trying out voodoo on my counterpart...even if it makes me want to pull out my hair, throw-up, or eat a nonexistent tub of Ben and Jerry's all by myself.

There will always be obstacles in our lives keeping us from any type of satisfaction; in my current case, this would be She who shall not be named (counterpart diablo). But we can't focus on the bad, the challenges, on the evil counterparts of the Peace Corps World. We have to look past this and find the positive. Because it is there, obscured, perhaps, by negativity and people who want us to fail. Hidden in the darkness, is the light, the positive, the people who are rooting for us, and the opportunities that are waiting for us to find them...We cannot forget this...I almost did...

A Frustrating Start to the New Year

Vocabulary (you can’t be a PCV without about a billion acronyms and some random HCN words!):

PCV-Peace Corps Volunteer

Counterpart-host country national that the Peace Corps Volunteer will work with for two years (God give me strength) in order to help promote sustainability; in my case, a not so friendly or communicative/cooperative Guatemalteca

APCD- Associate Peace Corps Director; this is the person who is in charge of your program (in my case, my program is Municipal Development and my APCD is awesome!) and helps you when things get tough

PS-Project Specialist; works with your APCD helping you with your projects and placement at host agency (mine is awesome!); also helps you when times get tough (and provides hugs when needed!)

HCN-Host Country National

HCA-Host country agency; the partner agency where a PCV works

CODEFEM-the host country agency where I work; a local nonprofit organization committed to defending women’s rights and citizen participation but more so dedicated to making my life a nightmare…

PC/G-Peace Corps Guatemala

La Hora Chapina-Guatemalan time; meaning an hour or so tardy

Chucho-dog

That is all for now, but I am sure there will be more later=)

I was supposed to start back at CODEFEM Monday, January 3. I was a little bit nervous just because things at work have not been so great and I really wanted to start off the New Year in a more productive and positive manner. So, I went to the office ready to start the day (and year) off right. However, when I get there, there was no sign of my counterpart, which is not that unusual as she usually shows up 30-45 minutes late. However, usually I have the key so I can just let myself into the office. My counterpart, being the disorganized wench that she is, asked for my key before the holidays as she had lost hers (typical)…of course she never returned my key…

So, there I was sitting on the step outside of my office, literally freezing my butt off (Quiché is flippin’ cold and the cement I was sitting on was ICE COLD) reading A WIND in the DOOR, reliving my childhood. (This is a companion book to A Wrinkle in Time, and was like my favorite trilogy when I was 9; I found the three books in a used book store at Lake Atitlan!). Two hours pass me by, and I get worried…because 2 hours is absurd…I call all three of my counterparts phone lines, but of course NO ANSWER. And I don’t just try like one time…I am pretty much stalking her with the amount of times I call her. I then called the other volunteer who also works at CODEFEM (We work at satellite offices…She works at a CODEFEM office in the eastern part of the country; whereas, I work in the West) to see if she is at the office…Turns out she was having the same exact problem (By the way the CODEFEM satellite offices where we work are made up of one peace corps volunteer and one CODEFEM tecnica, or our counterparts)…

Anyway, we both decide that we have waited enough time…I sent my counterpart an email saying that I waited for like 2 hours and just want to know if everything is alright, etc., And decided to go home and go for a jog to clear my mind (Might I add that during said jog I was almost attacked by a crazy, perhaps rabid Chucho…I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say it was a close call and I won’t be taking that path anymore…)

Anyway, I called the other volunteer to ask her to let me know if she gets any news from her counterpart, as her counterpart is usually more communicative and actually lets my friend know when she isn’t going to show up (unlike my inconsiderate, rude, uncooperative, incommunicado counterpart—I am not bitter...ok, maybe I am...)

My friend gets an email from her counterpart apologizing for not contacting her sooner and saying that CODEFEM decided not to open this week; instead CODEFEM would open Jan 10. This was news to both of us and was decided when the offices where already closed. After this I was pretty annoyed, and I start trying to call my counterpart, because I was actually pretty peeved. After about calling her 20 times with no answer, she finally picks up her phone and is all surprised to hear from me. (Um, did you not hear your phone ring the 20 times I called you, and did you not hear any of your 3 lines ring like all day yesterday??) (She never answers when I call...this has been going on since I started working with her...I am pretty sure she screens my phone calls)

She says, “What do you want?” (real friendly-like, this one...NOT)

I say, “Well, I waited outside the office for a bit yesterday…”

She responds, “Why would you do that?”

I say, “Because last time we spoke, I was told the office would open Jan 3”

She says, “No, I told you Jan 10”

And I said, “No, you didn’t”…but it wasn’t worth arguing with her, because she always does this, without apologies or regard for my time. I had the email from the other volunteer’s counterpart pretty much saying that this had been decided via email when the office was already closed. (So, no way this was decided when I was around) And my Spanish is pretty good so I don’t think I would have confused Jan 10 with Jan 3, nor would both myself and the other volunteer show up to work if we hadn’t been told Jan 3. Lastly, When I was making my work calendar, I asked my counterpart when the office would reopen because I had to submit that to my APCD, and she told me the 3^rd. But whatever. She is a liar, and has done this to me numerous times before, so I really shouldn't be surprised and shouldn't have been hoping for an apology or even an iota of respect from her, since I have never received either in the time that we have been working together...

AGH.

Anyway, my APCD and PS are going to do a site visit and chat with my counterpart (in a professional manner) to go over our roles and expectations…which I hope we be fruitful as I am not sure she even wants a volunteer to work with…and I can’t do anything since she is the ONLY other human being in the office (most other volunteers work in HCA’s with more than one employee so if they aren’t getting support from their counterpart they can seek out other people to work with; I really can’t do this without leaving my HCA entirely—which at this point, I wouldn’t mind) and the whole point is to work in pairs in order to promote sustainability…

She clearly never learned how to play well with others. I have tried. And I feel like I am at my wits end…I am a bit upset, sad, and frustrated that the New Year hasn't started out differently. However, I am not quite ready to give up on her or CODEFEM…(Although I am thinking a lot more violent thoughts toward her...and I am generally a pacifist...)

But I will keep on keepin’ on and see what happens…

So much for a less frustrating 2011…