While it has been nice to visit other volunteers and see their amazing projects come to life, it has been a little frustrating and depressing as I feel like my peace corps experience really has yet to begin and while I am proud of my fellow volunteers for all that they are accomplishing, I have to admit I am jealous, because I can't really say I have accomplished that much (as of yet, but I know that will change). Also, while I try to keep myself busy, I can't help but feel like i am stuck in this liminal state...just waiting...and there is no other way to describe this feeling than "blah"...
However, this last week I spent taking a refresher of spanish classes and visiting my training host family, which always makes me feel better. Funnily enough, my host family and I both agreed that after a week of spanish refresher classes, my spanish is actually worse off...I hope it is just because my mind is tired and everything is jumbled...Anyway, it was nice to be somewhere resembling "home"...It was nice to be with my guatemalan family. Whenever I go back there, it feels like I never left. They told me that I should ask my director to just be placed with them...!
Additionally, my two host nephews told me they had a present for me. They presented me with a tiny package of newspaper. Within the newspaper was a "piedra magica"...a magical stone they had found in a nearby river. They proudly presented me the brilliant shining stone and told me, "It is magical. The shininess will make it so that you are always happy. And also this will help you to never forget us"...
As weird as this past month has been without having a site or work, when my host nephews presented me with my magical stone, I almost cried out of happiness. I felt so loved and appreciated! As bad as things have been with my counterpart and with work, I have made some great connections in this country. I have a second family here in Guatemala. And even though at times I feel like my peace corps experience hasn't started, it began the day I arrived in this country. Everyone's experience is different, but that doesn't mean it is any less "peace corps"...
i don't think that you should feel at all jealous or disappointed about your peace corps experience so far. i mean, it's not your fault that your counterpart sucked, and you'll still have plenty of time to get started on some new projects at your new site! besides, it's the journey, not the destination, that makes the whole peace corps experience a rewarding one.
ReplyDeleteonly good things can come from what you've gone through the past few months...and a magical stone can't hurt either :)
A Magic Stone! Why isn't that standard issue in the PC med kit??
ReplyDeleteI'm excited for your new site. And while I completely identify with the tendency to compare my experience with los demas, I try to remind myself daily to own my own experience and learn my own lessons instead of wishing for the successes or challenges of others. Blergh. Easier said than done.