Funk-uh-licious

Last week was a week filled with many celebrations, events, goodbyes, hellos, etc., and thus, many emotions...so really, it was just another week in the peace corps, where I feel like I am bipolar...one minute super happy, the next depressed with work, small town drama, etc.,

I went to the peace corps office for my mid-service medical exam, which is a peace corps' rite of passage...meaning I have completed one year of service and as a reward I got to be examined by doctors and the dentist, o happy day! (0 cavities! woohoo!! Which is amazing considering all the sugar I eat in country...some people work out when they are stressed, others eat candy, and others just eat nutella straight out of the jar...which one do you think I am??).

Anyway, in terms of health, all is más o menos...I am just allergic to Guatemala...just kidding...sort of...but no parasites or life-threatening illnesses! woohoo!! lol.

Being at the peace corps office for my midservice was sort of strange however, because a few of my friends are COS-ing (kind of like graduating from the peace corps...after your 2 years of service, a volunteer COS's). It was cool to get to spend some time with them, but it was hard saying goodbye ( I hate goodbyes...I mean who likes goodbyes? But I am pretty awful with goodbyes...usually I just slip away without saying anything...I am working on that though...!). Also, for me personally, it was hard hearing my friends talk about leaving their sites, all the goodbye parties thrown for them by local guatemalteco friends and family, and everything they have accomplished. To be honest it put me in a little bit of a funk mainly because I feel so far away from that, yet we all know a year flies by...

I am about 6 months into living at my new site, and I still don't feel integrated or fulfilled with work. I keep wondering if anyone will throw me a goodbye party in year from now...will I have friends? A new surrogate family that has adopted me as one of their own? A year from now, what will I have accomplished?

Everyone says that the second year of service is when volunteers really start to make things happen and make those long-lasting connections to their site...I just get worried that everything will pass me by and it will be time to go, and no one will even care that I was even here...

But, it is funny because as I was thinking all these sad, depressing thoughts, this girl I had recently met on a microbus back from the cabacera to my site, called me and asked if I wanted to hang out...I actually ended up going to her house, and it also happened to be her brother's birthday, so not only did I get to hang out with her and her entire family, I also got cake.

So, maybe someone will miss me when I am gone! I guess everything happens in its own time...so I just have to be patient...

In terms of other things that have been going on, last week was dia de los muertos (day of the dead), and instead of spending it in a cemetery with people I literally just met the day before, I went to the kite flying festival in Sumpango ( a little outside of Antigua). It was beautiful! There were a bunch of these huge, beautiful kites; apparently people here fly kites to send messages to the dead. It was definitely an interesting cultural experience, and a cool way to spend my last dia de los muertos in country...It is strange to think that this time next year, I will be back home!! Or at least in the US...crazy.

Anyway, I am out of my funk, and I am trying to stay positive. I have one year of my peace corps' service left, and I would really like to focus on making strong connections to my community, long-lasting friendships, and also I would like to accomplish a few projects that are close to my heart (my next blog post will share details of my upcoming project!)

The more I am here, the more I realize that the peace corps is about so much more than whatever your job assignment is...

Surviving the Storm (both literally and figuratively)

This past week I was visiting home in sunny LA, and I must admit that it was nice to get away from the daily frustrations of Guatemalan life such as chuchos chasing me when I try to jog, bolos passed out in front of my house in a pile of their bodily fluids, creepy men harassing me when I walk around town, projects getting cancelled, my counterpart flaking on me, etc., Not to mention it was nice to enjoy the SUN. Seriously, the Guatemalan rainy season almost made me forget what the sun looked like…when I landed in LA I was like, “what is that big yellow-orange ball burning in the sky!?!?”

Anyway, being home, surrounded by delicious, DELICIOUS food, family and friends who know who I am, have known me forever, and know what I stand for and what I am doing with my life was refreshing. It is sometimes just nice to not have to explain who I am, especially in another language. It is nice to just be able to be who I am without having to justify or explain myself. I took that for granted before the Peace Corps. That, and regular bowel movements…

So, obviously it was hard to leave it all and return to Guatemala once again. The thing that made it less difficult to come back is the fact that I only have ELEVEN months left of my service, yet I still feel as though I have not accomplished many of my big goals. Sure, I have made it this far, which is an accomplishment in itself. Yes, I have made some great friends, both locals and PCVs, and I am feeling more integrated into my community. These are great personal goals that I feel happy to say that I have accomplished more or less. However, in terms of professional goals, I can’t really say I have achieved much. Yeah, sure this takes time and patience, and I haven’t been at my new site for a full 6 months yet so I need to give it time, but still I don’t want to become complacent in just showing up to the office. I want to get things done, despite the daily challenges I face in terms of work (ie: people flaking on me, projects getting pushed back).

The realization that I have only 11 months to get things done has made me feel like this is it. It is GO time. It is now or never. So, while it was hard to leave home and say goodbye to my family and friends yet again (though at this point in my life, everyone is used to me leaving for long periods of time, nomad that I am), I am ready to be a little more assertive to accomplish some of the professional goals on my list…I am not sure they will get done, but at the end of my service I want to at least be able to say that I gave it my all and tried my hardest.

My last day at home I was mentally preparing myself for my return, but what I did not prepare myself for was a HUGEASS storm that I was about to run into head on. It was so big that my plane could not land and had to circle the skies above the capital for about an hour and a half. The winds and rain were crazy, but as I hadn’t heard anything from Peace Corps about traveling, when I finally landed in Guatemala City, I found my familiar chicken bus, the Masheñita, hopped on and began the bus ride of a lifetime back to my site. I would just as soon forget it. So, while Quiché buses are notorious for being ridiculously crazy and I am now used to this, this was the most intense bus ride I have been on in this country. The good news is that because the weather was so awful, I didn’t have to sit sandwiched between two chubby Guatemalan farmers, on top of an indigenous women with her baby on my lap. My butt had its own seat next to an oddly smelling young Guatemalan teenager experimenting in the Hipster meets Goth look. The bad news is that I was literally in the storm and had some close calls. (Guatemalan roads are notorious for their landslides…eeep) Not to mention that the road to Quiché is super windy, with steep mountains overlooking cliffs. Let’s just say I kept my eyes closed for most of the journey and prayed to the Powers that Be…

Somehow, I survived the storm, made it back to my site in one piece, and I am just grateful to be alive. So I better make the most of my time here and get some things done in these next 11 months because life is crazy and this is an adventure and experience of a lifetime that I do not want to waste.

Ready. Set. Go!

A Little Bit Older...a Little Less Wiser...

Hello, Everyone

This past weekend I was fortunate enough to celebrate my second birthday in country...which means, two birthdays celebrated in country, one more to and then home! ( I came into Guatemala a young 25 year old and will leave it as a YOUNG 28 year old...! It is crazy to think about...)

But what it really means...I am now 27! Puchica! (wow!)

Normally, I really am not a fan of birthdays. I don't like being the center of attention. I don't like being in the spotlight. I don't like making a big fuss about these things, and some events (graduations, weddings, etc make me almost nervous or anxious...seriously, I get so nervous that it gives me the runs...sorry if that is too much information but in the Peace Corps there is no such thing) but this year was surprisingly great.

I met up with some fellow PCVs at Lake Atitlan (which so far is one of my favorite places in Guatemala) and just chilled, ate good food, and relaxed with some awesome people. And I have to say that while it is always hard being away from my family and friends back home, my peace corps' family in Guatemala is amazing, and I feel so lucky to have them. I am not sure what I would do without them...

Anyway, I had a great birthday celebration. And 27 doesn't seem that old...

And while 27 has been off to a good start, Guatemala decided to give me a present for my 27th birthday as well...

RINGWORM...(not kidding)

haha. but. It could be worse. Waaay worse.

But, Guatemala, you do keep the surprises coming...

Anyway, I feel very loved by my family (blood family), friends, and my peace corps' family. And I feel blessed to celebrate another year of life.

=)

Frustration, Thy Name is Guatemala...

Direct vs. Indirect Communication...

In training we learned about how Guatemala has a very indirect culture and how people, in order to avoid being rude, stepping on toes, or hurting your feelings, never really give you a straight answer, or they will skirt around the issue at hand.

And while I am sure this is not true for ALL guatemaltecos and I by no means wish to stereotype a whole culture, I can speak to my own experience thus far…

What I find a little odd and quite frustrating is that when it comes to work, it is almost impossible to get a straight answer…yet Guatemaltecos usually don’t have any qualms about saying how fat you look, how big you are, how tall you are, how you speak with a strange accent that they just can’t quite figure out, etc., but when it comes to work, at least in my case, people in the MUNI say how they like an idea and how they want to proceed with a particular project…but then when push comes to shove, nothing gets done.

In my case, it was a bottle school. We started planning in June and there seemed to be both need and interest…yet when I tried to move the project along, it was always somehow thwarted…meetings canceled, people didn’t show up, etc., I was trying to move things along on a strict timeline as I knew that come elections in September, the MUNI would really stop functioning so anything that needed to get done needed to get done before September 11 (local elections are held this date).

I realized we were making very little progress and mentioned my fears to my counterpart, who didn’t seem at all worried. She was just blasé about the whole affair…

I was getting more and more frustrated with the whole ordeal and today, just as I was about to say I think we might want to postpone this project until after elections when everyone is on the same page, my counterpart just came out and said it. I am super frustrated because I could have been working on other things and with other people this whole time, yet I kept trying to make progress because my MUNI claimed it wanted to move this project along. Had they just told me they probably wouldn’t be able to commit to it until January, I could have focused my efforts elsewhere…I just felt like they were stringing me along…This is one dysfunctional relationship…I feel like today the MUNI just told me “It’s not you, it’s me…”

I guess it could be worse, Guatemala could have given me the middle finger...(though sometimes it certainly feels that is has...over and over and OVER and OVER again...sigh)

And while I am sure not all is lost, and I think there really is general interest in this project so that hopefully we can get things moving come January, I just feel like SCREAMING, “BE STRAIGHT WITH ME GUATEMALA AND STOP WASTING MY TIME!”

And while I know the Peace Corps is an emotional roller coaster, one day awful, the next great, frustration just seems to be the only constant…

But I have my health, family and friends that love me and are rooting for me back home as well as recently purchased cheese from Wal-Mart…so really, life could be worse and I know I am lucky to be here. So, I just have to hold on, be strong, and keep trying to get things done.

Sometimes, though, I just want to run away to the coast and become a hippy…

Anniversary Special—Peace Corps Guatemala—Lessons Learned, a Year In Country…

Alright everyone, I have officially been in country ONE YEAR!!! Which means…one year down, one more (más o menos) to go…not that I am counting or anything…!

Anyway, what else does this mean, you ask? Well, it means that after a year in country, I have learned many valuable lessons here, not just about Guatemala—its people, culture, etc.,—but also about life in general…and as I am about a month away from my second birthday (the big 2-7…GASP) that I will be celebrating in this beautiful, although sometimes trying country, I like to think that I am a little bit older and wiser…

So, I would like to share some lessons I have learned with you all, in no particular order.

Here goes:

1. A huge bucket of water will not kill a Tarantula, or any other tarantula-sized spider or bug. You have to squish those MoFos to death.
2. Don’t let any bugs around your house go free…because they will come back to bite you on the butt…literally.
3. When a Guatemalteco says they are only “five minutes away” this actually means they are 15-30 minutes away.
4. When a meeting is set for anytime, add an hour to said time, because that is when the meeting will actually start…unless it is rainy season…then people might just not show up.
5. Always keep a book or some other form of entertainment on you…you never know how long you will be waiting for something to start…
6. When anyone says the phrase “fijese que”…expect bad news…don’t let the smile on their face fool you.
7. When a guatemalteco says “yes”…don’t get excited…this probably means “no”…and said guatemalteco just doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by being too direct or honest…
8. 5-second rule…psssshhaaa….as long as it is not covered in dirt, mud, feces or some other type of human/animal waste, it’s still good…!
9. During rainy season always keep your rain jacket or an umbrella on you…even if it is super sunny out…
10. If a random (and by random, I mean SKETCHY) Guatemalteco starts chatting you up (most usually on a bus), just say you are married and that your spouse is in the States…you just felt the need to serve your country…haha.

Ok, I have probably learned waaaaaaaay more than this, but at the moment, these are the most salient lessons that have come to mind.

Who knows what else I will learn in this upcoming year…? Vamos a ver…

What I do know is that I have survived the first half of peace corps, and met some wonderful people along the way, including Guatemalans and other PCVs, and despite the challenges (and believe me, there have been many and I know there will be even more to come) I still feel incredibly lucky to be here in Guatemala serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer, and I feel lucky to have amazing family and friends supporting me every step of the way, even when I call home crying hysterically because I have dysentery or freaking out because I just killed a scorpion.

I hope that in this next year I can accomplish a few of my goals, both personal and professional…Keeping my fingers crossed…

Friendship is the Best Ship...haha

Does anyone else remember coming back from your first day of kindergarten and announcing excitedly to your parents, "I made a friend today!"

Today about 21 years after the first time, I had the urge to announce this loudly to my parents and let them know that I have officially made a friend...Yes, my first Guatemalan friend...though I am not sure what said friend's name is...(baby steps...)

Ok, maybe I am exaggerating. I am sure I have made some Guatemalan friends here and there. I mean I am still close to my training family, but that is not really friendship, they are like a surrogate family. I am on friendly terms with my host family from my last site, but I don't see them anymore as I have my new site. I get along with everyone at my new workplace, but there isn't anyone in my community that I have clicked with or who I can hang out with on the weekends to just sit back with and chat with.

Just as I was getting kind of sad about my lack of social life or having any circle of local friends here to hang out with (non-peace corps volunteers that is), tonight, my first friend knocked on my door!

I met this guatemalteca (who shall remain nameless because awful human being that I am, I don't remember her name) through my sitemate one day while we were walking to go get ice cream. My sitemate introduced us, and we started talking, and she seemed really nice. I also found out she lives down the street from me, which is awesome since all my immediate neighbors are cantinas (and hence, BOLOS or drunkards). So, after that meeting I invited her to stop by my house for a cafecito, whatever baked goods I might have, and some conversation ( I NEED FRIENDS!)...then I ran into her again this week while I was walking to work, and she accompanied me all the way back to the office. And today, she stopped by my house and we chatted for a while, and it was so nice! I made her some tea and cookies, and we just chatted.

I finally feel like I have at least ONE connection in my community, which is a great feeling...for those of you back home who can't quite understand my enthusiasm for local friendship, all I can say is that for me, this is a huge milestone and one more way to truly integrate into my community. While my fellow PCVs in country are awesome and I have made some great friendships, I also want to feel like I have friends and connections in my community to feel truly grounded here.

I am finally starting to get that feeling of belonging...And my new friend ( I promise I will find out her name...you know we are just passed that point where I can ask her...) invited me to her house on friday to watch a telenovela with her! She felt sorry that I didn't have a TV and that I was missing out on some "quality" tv...so yeah, I'm not ashamed to say it...I have an official play-date on Friday, and to buy more love, I am going to bake something delicious to share with her and her family...

Yay!

Lazy Sunday

Happy Sunday, Everyone!

Back in training I remember a volunteer describing living and working in her site. She also mentioned the slowness of weekends, but how amazing they are because, unlike back in the US, you never really have anything stressful going on. While you have errands you might need to run, there is nothing really urgent that needs to get done, no stressful trips to malls, grocery stores, Costco, etc., Your weekends are just for you, and you can be as LAZY as you want.

I mean sure, I try to do all my laundry and cooking on the weekends so I don't have to worry about that stuff during the week, but sometimes the rain (or really most times now since it is rainy season) prevents me from any true "productivity". My weekends are just for me. Sometimes I travel or there are peace corps events like welcome parties, etc., but most times I lounge around my house, sipping on the instant coffee I once despised but now have come to love, reading, catching up on emails, etc., just relaxing. It is so weird not really having anything to do. There is no hustle and bustle, no sense of urgency, just me and my mind (which is sometimes a dangerous combination).

At first I wasn't a huge fan of these lazy weekends, however, now I have come to truly appreciate them so much that often times, I find myself dreading leaving for the weekend and having to deal with the real world, catching chicken buses and getting caught in a rainstorm. I find myself indulging in the slow pace of Guatemalan life (well during the weekends anyway, not so much during office hours!)...

It is a beautiful, simple sort of existence I have here...one I am truly trying to appreciate without questioning, because I know it won't always be this way...